Tag Archives: enlightenment

Week one update #gray-skychallenge

Dear friends,

I’ve been updating my progress on Facebook. I need to rethink my posting. Some of you are not on Facebook, and by keeping updates on one or two social media sites, I’m robbing you, my readers, on the lessons I’m learning.

Today, I’ll post Day 2 through Day 8, as they appeared, minus most photos.

Day 2’s #grayskychallenge smile is this Blue Jay who brought me a message: Jay teaches lessons of adaptation to any situations and learning quickly with a high intelligence. He gives access to memories long forgotten and shows how to assimilate them into awareness. He

demonstrates risk taking, seizing opportunities and discovering new avenues for exploration. He will show the power of intelligence and fortitude balanced with discreet silence and utmost patience in timing. #greattiming #happyday

Day 3 of #grayskychallenge is solitude day. Once upon a time, that used to be unsettling. Today, it’s #soulfood! There are things about ourselves we sometimes hide from ourselves! Today, I found another part of me. Smile!

What part of me did I find? I found that part of me who listens to Innate, our inner connection to Source. Sure, I’ve listened to her before, but many times I challenge her to prove that I should, and often I end the day saying, “I should have done that thing that popped into my head.” Today was different!

#grayskychallenge Day 4 finds joy in reawakening passions from days gone by when Mrs. Manning, Mr. Valente, and a private tutor named Jesus, fed my love of singing. Today, I start again with basic scales and YouTube accompaniment … it’s not really as easy as getting back on a bike!

Rekindle your own childhood passions, my friends.

#grayskychallenge Day 5 is about the true friendship and love I witness in those around me, from two former students saying goodbye once again, to a cashier and a customer exchanging a hello-again hug. True friendship means never having a final sunset, because there will be another sunrise down the road. #havefaith #truefriends

#grayskychallenge, Day 6 – remember our blessings! Too often, we forget or take things for granted. Today, I sit in awe of the man who was and is my partner on this journey. Whether he’s fixing our RV or making a baton out of a Goodwill golf club, David never ceases to amaze me! The “silver lining” part of this day for me (for I must add a personal lesson for it to fit this gray-sky challenge of mine) … on this journey with him, I have learned that anything is possible, even wild, magical dreams! I have learned that I, too, am capable of turning my life into my own “impossible dream” come true. And that is a lesson we should all take to heart — no matter our age or our upbringing, nothing is impossible if we are willing to put in the work and follow our heart. Now, it’s time I get off this beast-machine and get back to practice! #faithcanworkmiracles Have faith in yourselves, my friends! KNOW it will happen and the Universe will see to it that it does!

#grayskychallenge, Day 7 – laughter is the best medicine. I was reminded today that we can get caught up in the heaviness of this world just like a fly in a spider web; the more we try to break free, the more entangled we become in the heavy trap. It’s not worth the stress. Instead, look for the humor in it. I know, it’s tough to laugh when the spider is eyeing you, but sometimes the Universe reacts to positive vibes. Maybe you’ll luck out and the wind will swing a branch through the web and you’ll be able to hitch a ride out of your imagined trap.

Day 8 of #grayskychallenge … is the challenge of seeing yourself through the looking glass. I am not the one I see in the mirror. She is a reflection of what I show the world, but she’s not really me. She’s the one who fights to keep up appearances to the point that her truth is obscured in the mist of a hot shower. The real me is loving and positive of God’s love burning in my heart, but, like with Moses, I feel my body has been the source of a Divine battle between Archangel Michael and the devil.  Sometimes, even I don’t recognize what I’ve done until the mist has cleared and the devastation is evident. I am sorry to the point of tears for the damage my words or my actions have caused. … so where’s the silver lining to this gray sky? I Know I am forgiven. I Know the Creator loves me more than I can ever imagine, and all I need do is accept His forgiveness. The great thing is, we are all loved and we are all forgiven. Feel it, my friends. The Almighty I Am loves you beyond measure!


We are cattle. (I guess this is not going to be my average post.)

So, here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking about knowledge lately, Gnosis, in other words.

According to Wikipedia:



  1. 1.

facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject.

“a thirst for knowledge”


In ChristianIslamic, or Jewish mysticismmystery religions and Gnosticism gnosisgenerally signifies a spiritual knowledge or “religion of knowledge”, in the sense of mystical enlightenment or “insight”. Gnosis taught a deliverance of man from the constraints of earthly existence through insight into an essential relationship, as soul or spirit, with a supramundane place of freedom

With knowledge comes a hunger for more knowledge. Eventually, you start seeing things in your real world that you’d never noticed before. I started seeing it in the television shows we watch , the sporting events to which we flock, and, of course, our religions.

Somewhere along the line, you reach that Awakening. I hate calling it an Awakening, because there are so many things tied to that term. It’s become something of a myth, actually. It’s something we expect is going to happen, but it doesn’t happen to us. Why doesn’t it happen to us? we scream. So we look cockeyed at someone who insists that is what’s happening to him or her.

The thing about myths, though, is that many times they are actually Truth hidden from the view of the majority of us.

With me, my Awakening, or Enlightenment as I prefer to call it, has been a long time coming. It hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes, I’ve been dragged to my realizations kicking and screaming by that higher sense of self that’s guiding me. As my knowledge grows, I want to proclaim it from the rooftops. I want to give everyone a how-to guide for this thing I can’t identify, but you can’t describe a cake from the mixing bowl until it’s gone through the oven. Essentially, I’m still the gooey mess inside the mixing bowl. I’m still meeting my shadow self in bits and pieces – ingredients that need to be beaten into the mix like eggs, and milk, and flour.

I don’t know how this process of transformation works for others. For me it’s been a years-long process that involves people I love and respect. And the reason a full awakening is difficult to attain for many. There’s that voice that peals like a bell in my head telling me to protect those I love and ignore my own desires.

That has got to be the most painful realization to have to accept. So it’s been a slow process for me. There is still an intense battle between The Awakening Me and what I call The Human Me.

People may question the origin of a power that works this way. I’ve been torn inside and out trying to define my experience. In the end, I’ve decided it is for the benefit of my own higher self.

How do I know this is right? Because the existence I used to live feels inauthentic. The thought of returning to that life is like heavy iron bars. Moving forward from here is exciting.

I guess this will function as a warning to my classmates out there in the Internet world. If you would not be willing to turn your current life upside down and backwards, you’d better stop searching right now.

The truth is that once you’ve opened your mind, there’s no turning back. You can’t unlearn a truth you’ve learned. It’s impossible to do it without psychotropic drugs.

I love the life I lived that brought me to this point in my life. How could I not? I am this person because of the experiences I’ve lived. Right now, I’m trying to clear up my emotional Karma – that thing that makes me feel I am tied to this reality. There are still some shadows I find difficult to face. Which is why I’m still not at full-awakened status.

So, let’s go back to the beginning of this blog.

We are cattle.

Responding to a friend’s Facebook post about the international banking system and the slaves we have become, I got on my pulpit.

The idea is hard for people to understand, I guess. I mean, really, who wants to accept that to the powers that be, we are cattle. Livestock. We go to work (the field for cattle, for example) then return home at the end of the day for dinner and relaxation and sleep. It’s rarely what we really want to be doing with our lives, so we dream of the weekend or summer vacation or retirement.

The Ranch Owners are the ones who collect the profits of our labor. Our bosses and, in a greater sense, our governments which collect our fruits via taxation.

Enough on that. That is an argument for you to have with yourself if you decide to drop down that rabbit hole! There are so many others, all leading us to realizations about the truth of our human existence.

When I launched my Vision Quest last year, I tossed aside the ideas that had been living in my reality for years. I realized, not decided. The difference between one and the other is that one is based on personal truth (realize), whereas the other implies a choice between two equal realities. The choice is not equal, hence it is not really a choice. It’s an acceptance. An allowance where the truth is allowed to take seed in us.

For me, that acceptance is ongoing. Every day is a new challenge.

I hope that your lesson of knowledge is as enlightening as mine has become.

Your classmate,

The Dragonfly’s Student

The glorious Easter story


The Easter story was always my favorite biblical story. I identified with Mary Magdalene, the ever-loyal disciple who was given the privilege of being the first to see the Risen Christ and claimed The Lord is Risen! I wanted to be like her, so sure of her devotion to the Master that her motives were never questioned (by me, at least!)

A thirst for knowledge dawned through this story for me. I wanted to know more about the woman who loved. She became my guidance — my every decision has been based on this desire I had to be like her.

I think it’s a great guiding system I’ve set up for myself.

As I conclude my 40-day blog journey, I consider this as it relates to the temptations I spoke about yesterday. Many of them, actually all of them, caused doubt and made me question my decisions. Thinking about this now helps me remember that, whatever I do, if I can be sure that my decision was heart-based, not head-based or society-based, I can be sure that my self-chosen guiding system took over. (And if the head AND the heart agree, well that’s the goal, isn’t it?)

Phew,that’s a relief!

With this knowledge, I can now be at peace. I look forward to the fruits of the seeds I have planted throughout my life.

My next challenge … internalizing the knowledge of peace. Sheesh! Now, what? I want to be like the Virgin Mary?

Yeah, NO. That’s a lofty goal there! I think I’ll just work on internalizing the knowledge I’ve got so far. That’s a pretty big thing in itself, considering how easy it’s been so far (sarcasm isn’t easy to relay in text, is it?) I feel like slipping into some medieval chain-link armor before heading out into the world!

(I won’t post an image of She-Ra in armor, but … yeah, you get the picture!)

Namaste, my friends. Peace be with you on this glorious day.

The Dragonfly’s Student (Mari(!) Locklin)

Pausing brain overload

Lately, all I can do is study. I’ve learned I’m not the only one going through the motions of awakening. I’m not the only one questioning the world in which I live. The more I learn, the more I want to learn. The more I read, the more I want to read. One book leads to another website to another book which I approach voraciously.

Sometimes, though, I feel like a robot on overload.

But I can’t stop.

I feel like maybe, just maybe, the next book will be the lesson that makes it all fall into place. I can’t stop. Not yet, I plead. I need to know more.

I feel my tires wearing thin, but I’ll change them later. Now I have to keep driving forward.

Then a voice steps in.

“Breathe,” she says. She’s at peace. The image I get is of Pocahontas sitting cross-legged on a flat stone in the forest.

Breathe,” she repeats, her voice soft and molodic in its peace.

This being is not a mystery. She is not something outside of me. She is my Higher Self, in a way. I call her Me 2.0. The other me, the one who’s obsessed with studying, she’s Me Beta version.

I listen to Me 2.0 and stop reading.

I know she’s right. I need to give the new information a chance to take root and grow or wither. My obsessive learning is sowing seeds that aren’t given a chance to settle into the fertile earth and grow.

It’s time to breathe.

Maybe a trip to the beach or the Everglades will help. No internet, no books. Just the sun warming my skin and the wind blowing gently around me.

Yes. I can feel the weekend approaching now.

Peace to you, my friends.

The Dragonfly’s Student

Sometimes, Mother Earth calls me to take a moment to simply breathe.

When questions open our minds, question everything

At my cousin’s wedding recently, the pastor read a compilation from the new testament – something that sounded odd to me because I’d never heard the reading from Matthew 19, which seems to echo the reading from Genesis about how the Creator made them ‘male and female…’ Seamlessly, he continued (as if from the same book) from the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5. I wondered if maybe he combined two readings because the wedding was during Lent. Maybe. Still … it made me think.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. …”

I almost tuned out. After all, I’ve heard this a million times. Then I really started listening, which led me to thinking. (Maybe not something I should be doing during the wedding of one of my favorite people in the whole world!)


“Blessed are the meek …”

The thinking continued … What does that mean? Meek? Are we supposed to be spineless idiots or just bow down to others who would overpower us?

That didn’t sit well AT ALL. So the next day I got down to business searching for the full text of the sermon.

“It was written in Aramaic,” El Juglador said. “Search for the Aramaic/English translation.”

Then we started reading and were left in shock. I don’t speak or read Aramaic, so I have no way of verifying this, but the fact I had been questioning the traditional English translation made me want to continue reading. The text used to translate is the Khabouris Manuscript, (http://www.whyagain.com/beatt.php) a medieval era Aramaic manuscript of the New Testament that fortunately avoided the “cleansing” of non-approved versions of bibles in the Middle Ages. Don’t ask me what that’s all about, I’m not getting into that debate!


So, to start, Touveyhoun is the first word of every be-attitude that we typically have understood as Blessed or Blessing. In Aramaic, Jesus’ native tongue, he spoke of the eternal reward we can earn.


The following explanation of the Be-Attitudes is based on Aramaic and is as faithful as possible to the actual words of Jesus. It shows that the Be-Attitudes are in truth instructions and methods for evaluating progress and supporting us in achieving an exciting, reachable goal. Here Jesus provided the “how to’s” for living the “Greatest” and “Second” Commandments_ the keys to peace and life and health. His objective was so urgent that He used the word Touveyhoun repeatedly in this, His first public teaching!

This statement before each Be-Attitude more accurately carries the lost meaning of Jesus’ word –TOUVEYHOUN: God implanted in your mind neural structures which will guide you when they are active. If they are active, you who follow these instructions will come into conscious possession of and be able to use this latent guidance system, designed to make available thoughts and actions that will increase your happiness and well-being:

You who have a maskenii (home) in Ruhka (the active forces from God), yours is a malkoota d’shmeya (heavenly estate). Historically interpreted as – Blessed are the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

You abili (who love Truth and profess your errors and the errors of your society), you shall be nitbeyoon (freed of mental stress). Historically interpreted as – Blessed are those mourning their wrongs, they will be comforted.

You who have makikh (humility – the mental quality of perceiving and cooperating with the good desires of others), you shall nartoun (gain the earth). Historically interpreted as – Blessed are the meek, they shall inherit the earth.

You who hunger for kenoota (the mind structure underlying the attitude, judgment and behavior described as just or fair behavior between people), you shall attain it. Historically interpreted as – Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, they shall be filled.

You who have rakhma (pure love, encompassing judgment and behavior), you will therefore receive rakhma (pure love). Historically interpreted as – Blessed are the merciful, they shall obtain mercy.

You who have dadcean (a completely purified mind,) you will mikhazoun (comprehend) Alaha (the Invisible Source of Creation). Historically interpreted as – Blessed are the pure in heart, they shall see God.

You who abdey (through service, work effectively to produce) shlama (the peace and understanding under and in accord with God’s Will), you will be called the children of God. Historically interpreted as – Blessed are the peacemakers, they shall be called the children of God.

The “Greatest” and “Second” Commandments: You shall tidrakhim (maintain the condition of pure love) for Alaha (the Invisible Source of Creation) in your entire mind and with your whole naphshak (true self) in all your actions and in all your thoughts. This is the greatest commandment and takes precedence over all. The second, which is like unto it, you shall tidrakhim (maintain pure love) for karebak (neighbor_anyone near or thought about) as your naphshak (true self). Upon these two Commandments hang the Law and its prophets.

So God implanted neural structures in our minds? And when they go “active” we will be able to access our connection to our Higher Self? That’s what took my breath away. Jesus was speaking like the Spiritual gurus I’ve been reading lately.

This translation seems more aligned to the lessons I’ve been learning lately that feel so right. The heavy-handed lessons of our past are not the words of Jesus, as we’ve been told.

We are Spiritual beings and Jesus was giving us a how-to manual on accessing that Kingdom of God using our own abilities.

Reading the original documents is an eye-opening ability. I’m going to have to go back and read the bible in its original language, if I can. I wonder what Revelation really says in its original Greek.

I’m going back to my research now because, as I’m realizing, there’s no going back to the simplicity of ignorance anymore.

Peace and Love to you, my friends.

The Dragonfly’s Student


For Lent, I have promised myself to post a little something on my page every day. Just a little. I hope my readers appreciate this, but I’m doing this for my own spiritual growth.

When we’re deep in the matrix of this reality, we forget our essence. Like quartz, we are beings of light encased in a physical form. When will you remember your essence, my friends? When will you not only remember but also acknowledge that God’s essence is within each and every one of us?

Ah, this is today’s homework assignment. Remember that you are more than this heavy 9-to-5 world. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. We should love ourselves and our human lives, but getting weighed down and obsessed with the minute details of the matrix world is contraindicated for this condition.

The details of our Spiritual existence are so much greater than we think. Yesterday, I was meditating to Kryon and his discussion of shades of gray. (Not the movie, but our lives.) We are greater than we think, and this reality led me down a multi-dimensional meditation.

Today, I try to accept that reality as Slipknot’s Before I Forget plays on my car radio.

I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget

I will meditate on the chorus, but I will share something a little less raw with you today.

Have faith, my classmates. All will be blessed.

The Dragonfly’s Student

Testing Faith

Take a walk in the forest and you will hear her breathe. You will feel her envelop you in her mist, a hug so glorious it gives you a taste of perfection. You will smell the peace of creatures who no longer have fear because they know they are safe in her arms.


I know, though, that most of us do not experience these things. Most of us live in a world where the breathing we hear is the exhaust of passing cars and trucks. Most of what we feel is the stress that is borne of the matrix-like world into which we humans have inserted ourselves. Most of what we smell is our own rancid fear of judgment and the unknown.

We don’t know how to maneuver this world if not by following the road maps set by others who have gone before, by others who believe they know what is right for us – go to college, get a job, buy a house, get a credit card, start a family, dress appropriately, don’t be strange, and don’t ever think outside the box.

What if that doesn’t work for us, though?

I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to believe there is a greater plan for me. I want to believe my faith is enough to get me through this life successfully.

Then the chains of the matrix, bolted into this matrix we’ve created for ourselves, pull me down to the ground.

The life of faith is not easy, folks. Envy me for the freedom I have given myself, not for the life I have chosen. Believing in a higher power is a lonely life. There is no owner’s manual. There’s no tech support number to reach in order to get the answers.

When you doubt, there is no way to find your way out of the dark except for the light the radiates from inside of yourself.

Don’t worry, friends. I am not having a spiritual crisis. I’m just reminded of the prophets who did, though.

First in my mind and on this list is the Prophet Abraham, the one who was about to kill his son because God asked him to prove his faith. Fortunately, God held his knife-weilding hand back before it plunged into Isaac.

Although I may be considered blasphemous, I contend that even Jesus, himself, had questions. In the Garden of Gethsemane, as the clock wound down to his final conflicts, Jesus questioned himself, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me.” His faith was strong enough to add what he knew was the truth — but thy will be done. He knew that no matter what he wanted, there was no way his own will would be greater than God’s.

Then there’s the Book of Job, the story of the faithful man who is driven to question God because of his own pain and suffering.

“In the end, God answers Job in a whirlwind, reminding him that

humans can never understand how great God is. After Job hears

God speak, he says, “I have heard of thee by the hearing of the

ear, but now mine eye seeth. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent

in dust and ashes.” Job realized that his trust in God should not

depend on what happens to him. (http://acts38-39.hubpages.com/hub/a-short-summary-of-the-book-of-job)

What’s my point? When you decide to follow your beliefs in an omnipotent being, denying yourself the luxuries available in this world because you truly believe you have a calling to something higher than yourself, you run the risk of running into naysayers who think you are crazy or delusional.

“Seriously,” said naysayer would begin, “God won’t mind if you don’t go to church on Sunday,” or “Aw, come on. God doesn’t really care if you eat pork,” or “My God would never tell a mother to leave her (grown) children to follow a path she thinks leads toward Him.”

Fortunately for me, my faith is still strong, but I know there will come a time when doubt will chip away at the rock that sits at the base of my house of belief.

I hope my faith proves as strong as the faith of those who have been my Spirit guides on this personal journey.

Keep the faith, my friends,

The Dragonfly’s Student