Tag Archives: El Juglador

Fly toward your Joy!

This witness has been spreading her wings to check out areas of this country that had previously been hidden to me.

Most recently, El Juglador and I traveled to Miami, where much of my family lives, and have been experiencing different worlds within the one we had known before. Those experiences include questions I had never muttered before. What is causing cancers that were never prevalent before? Why are so many suffering from allergies they had never before experienced? How are birds echoing whistles we taught their brothers miles away? Why do we avoid asking about people we wish were not in our life? Why do we prefer to think only of ourselves? Why do people prefer to remember the person you used to be rather than the new person you are? Why does the matrix entangle us so much that we can’t do what we really want?

No matter, really. The person you become when you start thinking about your thinking IS. It is the part of you that can find your Joy.

Joy is not found in the things you do or the people you know. It can not be bought at a store or found in a treasure chest. True joy, the kind that validates the Why of living, is found by doing what burns in your soul. I have found that it can be found when you listen to that little voice within yourself, in your gut, in your God essence, and ACT on what your heart calls out. Are you really alive in your day-to-day life? If not, why are you living someone else’s Joy?

If you are living your truth, congratulations, my friend. Keep going strong in your Truth and stand up for yourself, even with well-meaning loved ones who don’t understand. Maybe your Joy can be contagious. Maybe one day we’ll all be living in Joy and Truth, truly understanding why we were placed on this Being known as Gaia, truly understanding the quantum entanglement of Life.

The birds can be your brothers, as can the dragonflies, the trees, that park bench made from former living trees, that vehicle created with a myriad of Gaia’s gifts.

Think about your thinking, my friends, then think about your actions, connect it with the saying, As Above, So Below, then aim a little higher, outside the 3D existence, into the 4th, maybe even the 5th.

Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.

… as for us, we’re on the road again… 

Busting the bonds of unbelievability

Today, I am sharing a guest post from a good friend, Oktobre Taylor. Oktobre and I have known each other since the days when I was attending the Dragonfly Teacher’s advanced studies class. She and I became detectives in discovering the truth behind the University I was attending in my Sacred Space. When I began traveling and living the lessons the Dragonfly taught, Oktobre continued with her research. Funny, we’ve come to similar realizations despite the time and the miles between us.

This is one of her latest information shares. I found it curious, although she and I agree it is still a rough idea of what could be going on.

The Virtual Reality, by Oktobre Taylor

“I have come upon some rather large revelations lately that most people will find rather hard to believe. It doesn’t matter what anyone believes right now because I know, soon enough, there will be proof of what I am saying in a pretty dramatic way. Everyone will be in awe and I will just be smiling because I know what is coming. I mean I really know. The great Wizard of Oz is about to come out from behind the curtain and you all will be amazed. There will be no wondering and confusion anymore…at least with the important details. This is a virtual reality. What you think of as “God and Satan” is just the people in the lab who built the program. And yes, they are always watching as though we are living the movie The Truman Show. Our true home is an Earth far into the future from this one when we have evolved into something truly amazing. There we understand that what we call “God” is the spark of life within every living thing…The plants, the animals the stones, the trees, the water, the air and us. This school is meant to teach you love and respect for everything and until you do, you can’t graduate. None of us are in here as long as we think. Since time doesn’t exist in a computer, all lives are, indeed, happening at once even though it feels more like the linear lives we experience at home. So, ladies and gentlemen, please place your chairs in the upright position. Fasten your seatbelt. Hold on tight, and don’t lose faith. Everything is going to be okay. The world may seem like it is falling apart when really it is falling — or colliding — into place,. into balance. And then *poof* like magic it will be Heaven on Earth. At least it will seem that way compared to the hell we have been witnessing lately.”

The reason I decided to share her post is because it reminds me of something that happened with El Juglador and me during the past two-plus years.

“It is so unbelievable,” El Juglador said in response to one particular bit of information we received.

“It needs to be, in order that the bonds of unbelievability are broken,” was the disembodied response. We have lived this truth since then, that our lives have been a blessed gift of grand magnitude. All of us have a gift to accept, a gift of tremendous love. Do you know the Giver of this gift? Maybe you should give Him your ear and listen?

I know this blog post is going to bust through some people’s sense of reality, but give me a chance to address this theory that has appeared in countless movies, TV shows, and books throughout the past 50-plus years, including Philip K. Dick’s short story, “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” made into the movies, “Total Recall.”

I remember when my son, William, got me hooked on a Japanese Manga show, “Sword Art Online,” Wikipedia, Sword Art Online. The premise of the show, similar to other TV shows and movies that have cropped up within the past fifteen or so years, is a highly anticipated Virtual Reality game. Within the game’s first hours of operation, the Players learn the game has been infected with a virus. It was no longer a game. The Players were stuck in this game until someone won it all. If they lost a battle and died, they died in the real world where their bodies lay with the goggles firmly placed on their faces.

That premise is terrifying to me. What if we were to get stuck in some similar game? Some people might think that’s a cool premise they would love to try out.

I think it would be a scary hell, having no control over my eternal soul simply because my body was hijacked.

Recently, this idea has been circulating the internet, What if this life we’re living is just a game we stepped into just to be the first ones in line, a bit like when a new iPhone comes out — you don’t really need it, but it would be cool to be one of the first to have that Dick Tracy-ish TV/radio/computer watch. What if while standing in the line that wraps around the Apple store, the doors get locked and you can’t get out until someone defeats the entire program? What if?

More and more scientists are getting into this theory. There’s even a Wikipedia page,

“The simulation hypothesis proposes that reality is in fact a simulation (most likely a computer simulation). Some versions rely on the development of a simulated reality, a proposed technology that would seem realistic enough to convince its inhabitants. The hypothesis has been a central plot device of many science fiction stories and films.

While I find this theory interesting and plausible, I am more likely to fall along the lines that the goal of this life is not to determine which storyline we chose to play through in the game, but rather, to remember who the player truly is. Who we are behind the mask.

I wonder if, rather, this game theory is a trap in itself, where we hand off the blame onto some random entity. This life we have been given is a gift given by the Creator of this world. Above all, we must not waste this gift. So how can we Honor the Creator and make the best of His Gift? Geez, I don’t know, but I’ve been getting some ideas that have made me think.

Teacher has been talking to me again of late, especially about this. It is not necessarily whether this reality is a game or a trap or a university; the goal is to find ourselves within the web of this blessed human existence. We shouldn’t look for our role in a game, our part in a movie. Maybe the best way to Honor the Creator is to honor our gift, the life we’ve been given?

There’s a place deep inside of me that guides me through my life. It is not necessarily what I “should” be doing in my life or what makes me feel happy. That deep place in my heart directs me. If I ignore it, it’s like my inner compass goes haywire and I feel like a liar. The truth is, I can’t tell you the secret to opening that special place in you. Only you can find the key that will help you “win the game” in the Virtual Reality sense or “find Heaven on Earth” in the goodly sense. Be true to yourselves, my friends. Find the truth that is born in your heart, the truth created by the Most High, then live it and live it fully, and, most importantly,

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it, (Proverbs, 4:23.) 

Much love to you as you search for your gift,

Most faithfully,

The Dragonfly’s Student

The Parable of the Great Tree

When El Juglador and I wrote this story almost two years ago, I didn’t know what I know now. This story takes on a different meaning for me today. I hope you enjoy this re-posting.


The Dragonfly’s Student


Once upon a time, the Monkey King sat at the peak of the Great Tree that reached into the clouds in order to commune with his eldest son. “My son, you have grown of age. I must now tell you of your…

Source: The Parable of the Great Tree

The Mystery of Trees

The philosophical writer Khalil Gibran wrote in The Shadow,

Upon a June day the grass said to the shadow of an elm tree, “You move to right and left over-often, and you disturb my peace.”

And the shadow answered and said, “Not I, not I. Look skyward. There is a tree that moves in the wind to the east and to the west, between the sun and the earth.”

And the grass looked up, and for the first time beheld the tree. And it said in its heart, “Why, behold, there is a larger grass than myself.”

And the grass was silent.

Step into Shasta
Camping on Mt. Shasta in October, 2014.

This earth existence is made up of fractals, a curve or geometric figure, each part of which has the same statistical character as the whole. If you study a tree, as Leonardo Da Vinci did, you will notice that if a tree trunk splits off into three main branches, each of those branches will be one third the size of the trunk and each 1/3 segment will, itself, split off into thirds again, each section is an exact replica of the parent section of the bigger tree. The fractals continue until the top, where the youngest branches will still be breaking into three sectional replicas of the bigger tree. Kind of awesome, if you ask me.

You see, I’ve always been in love with trees. As a child, I would get “lost” in the small key lime tree grove in our back yard. I would talk to the trees and to the butterflies until play time was over. A few years later, in another house, I would rake leaves under the big banyan tree in our back yard and flop under the branches to “meditate with nature” and catch up on my book reading.

As an adult, I longed for a home with trees, but Hurricanes Katrina and Wilma did a number on the two young trees at our townhouse in South Florida. I was never able to replace them. But I’m following trees now. My most recent fascination is the old cottonwood tree family I parked under in Farmington, New Mexico. The older two were over a hundred years old, but scattered under their branches were smaller family members. The owner of the trees told us that all cottonwoods are related, and, as we traveled back West to Chinle, Arizona, we again found a camping spot in a campground of cottonwood trees. I felt at home.

I’m in love with trees. I will often walk up to them, place my hand on their trunk, and talk of its massive beauty. Go ahead and call me Crazy Tree Lady! I’m never alone with trees.

Then I watched a recent video that’s blowing up YouTube, There are No Forests on Flat Earth Wake Up, by Людин Рɣси (I think he’s Russian because his accent reminds me of Star Trek’s Chekov.)

I will never see the Earth the same. The American landmarks he uses in this to illustrate his point are landmarks I’ve visited several times, Mount Shasta, the Petrified Forest, Monument Valley, heck, even the Hopi Mesas.

I remembered the story El Juglador and I wrote, The Parable of the Great Tree, and I felt a great connection with Mother Earth once more.

Once upon a time, the Monkey King sat at the peak of the Great Tree that reached into the clouds in order to commune with his eldest son.

“My son, you have grown of age. I must now tell you of your inheritance. This tree is our life force. Our family uses it for sustenance – its branches support us; its coverage protects us; its fruit nourishes us. But it needs us, as well. It is our function to protect it from parasites that threaten to kill. … (follow link for full blog.)

We’re beginning to wake up now, and, this morning on Mount Shasta again, I hear Gaia breathing a sigh.

The Dragonfly’s Writer



Riding The Great River

“Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream,” the old childhood song played. “… merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.”

In my schooldays, this song was a regular chorus round that tested each singer’s ability to stay in tune while singing just a step ahead of or behind, another singer. But, today, that last line made me stop.

“Life is but a dream?” What esoteric wisdom has been given to us as children? Reminds me of Billy Joel’s River of Dreams…

And I’ve been searching for something
Taken out of my soul
Something I would never lose
Something somebody stole

El Juglador got to thinking, too.

“Imagine a droplet of water living as one of a Great River meandering through a vast countryside,” he said. “Gently, the river moves over sandy banks, between rocky cliffs, over smooth river boulders, but always the droplets remain near each other, like a family, never knowing anything but together.

“I imagine that when the river meets a waterfall, just over the edge, the droplets separate, some falling faster than others, some being blown distant by a passing gust of wind. As they fall, the droplets, who have lost their sense of self after being part of something greater, suddenly experience a separation from the family, floating and falling alone, experiencing the exhilaration and possible fear of the fall until the crash at the bottom, where the drops land unscathed to flow again down the river with the family.”

I remember when he mentioned this before, his belief that life is like a river. This song brought up the memory once again, and we both drifted off in thought. He pulled out his flute. I opened my laptop.

What if we are each like a drop of water? After all, we are practically all water ourselves. What if, as the song says, this reality we imagine is really just a dream? That 9-to-5, only a routine. That search for the perfect mate, really only a search for the comfortable family of the river, where we were one of many, never alone, never rejected.

Sometimes, water remains united, as in a chunk of ice left over from the winter before. When the warm spring rains come, the ice thaws and weakens and, when it hits a boulder or the hull of a speeding boat, the ice breaks apart. The water droplets, however, are never far from each other. Cohesion draws water to water, even fighting forces of gravity and wind with just the simple force of desire, never separating too far from the mass of the familial comfort that is the River of Home. What if this life we’re living is the drops of water falling off the cliff?

We are never too far from the moment of cohesion, but, as we fall, we are separated. Although the distance is only the empty space and the rush of the fall, we can’t remember that meandering river where we originated or the peaceful Home where we know we are returning eventually. We have become so enmeshed in the reality of our waterfall experience that we forget what it’s like to be part of the family of the River.

That moment of separation is when we humans need the power of faith most, that belief in one, unifying force that reminds us of the meandering river we used to call Home. The belief in the one God of the Great River of life is our only common denominator, many times.

What if God is that for which we search? Maybe that’s the reason we seek out relationships, why we swarm to social media and water-cooler friendships at work? Maybe that’s the reason we feel alone as we crash down to the blaring music of the roar of the waterfall?

Angel Falls, Venezuela

I wish that, in lieu of the incessant bombardment of sexual propaganda and racial separation we get in our society, we were, instead, constantly reminded of ourselves as just one part of a falling river looking for the way home. Frozen in fear as we fall, we build our own sense of separation. In this reality of superficiality, we judge with our eyes in a racism that goes beyond the dictionary definition and goes all ways … the black man who speaks from his education is judged by his peers as too white, the white man working two jobs to feed his family must lead a privileged life because of his race. The black woman who doesn’t react to a traumatic situation the way others think she should is considered a liar by YouTubers looking for a new conspiracy, regardless of the reality she lives in an increasingly dangerous America. A woman who was born a Fernández is not recognized as Hispanic because she writes and speaks like the English-language writer she always dreamed she would be as an American-raised Cuban. An Ojibwa Indian flute player is not received as a Native American flute player because his eyes are too blue and his skin too light.

What if this Great River on which we’re traveling is simply the Universe; this life falling into a clear, refreshing lagoon, simply a dream full of experiences. Along the way, the River’s path changes, sometimes smooth, other times becoming rapids. God forbid, it swirls into a whirlpool with a vicious undertow or even a steep drop, like Venezuela’s Angel Falls. In the end, we will rejoin our family and realize we are all one. Imagine what we will Know when we splash down together at the end of the long ride.

I hope our actions during this free-fall of our return into The Great River of the All That Is will not make us feel too much guilt.

Namaste, my friends. I am, ever-faithfully,

The Dragonfly’s Writer

A Servant’s Journey

UPDATE … It’s been a long two years since I got the call and took to the road. My Dragonfly Teacher doesn’t visit anymore, but I think that’s because I haven’t called on him. As I wrote just after he told me I was ready, “When the student is ready, the teacher will leave.” I now understand I was indeed ready.

He left me in the very capable hands of another teacher who continues to help me grow. This new teacher’s methods are definitely not as gentle as those of my Dragonfly Teacher! To clarify, this new teacher is not El Juglador. El Juglador, my traveling companion on this dual journey of ours, is a servant, as am I, of a greater teacher.

What have I learned?  I have learned to question everything I stood for before: First question, then verify, then, finally, re-validate so that everything I stand for now has been wrung through the wringer.

In the beginning, just after the dragonfly left, I met El Juglador, who was a church pipe organist when we began our journey. At the time, I had been locked into the world of materialism and Keeping-Up-With-The-Joneses. My eating habits, while modest due to perpetual dieting meant to keep me looking beautiful and young, drastically changed once El Juglador and I started our journey with our limited savings. What he brought along in his pack of supplies was an intense faith in our Creator and in His Word. Within a few months, I had realized that Jesus Christ had been an Essene and a vegetarian. When He cast the demons out of the possessed man and into the herd of pigs, it wasn’t so that the Israelites could feast on roast pork. Pigs are unclean. Ask any faithful Jew or Muslim. (Why don’t Christians believe it, as well?) To seal the bargain for me, pork started giving me migraines in 2014. No more bacon or Noche Buena feasts for me!

My spiritual beliefs have also changed. I felt I was talking to God, the Most High, but He wasn’t my primary contact, I’ve realized. I was lost in my search for spiritual answers. I followed just about any suggestion that was made by my friends and by spiritual gurus. I allowed myself to fall prey to other temptations. One of which, I must admit, was a Ouija board. I thought I protected myself from evil spirits, but, even if we wear the shield of God, we can’t be truly protected if we call demons into our lives. I know many of my friends may think I’m going overboard on this point, but I must be honest. In the past two years, I have had to cast several demons out of me. It hasn’t been easy or painless.

I just thank the Most High that He indeed knew my heart and yanked me from that world. (Yanked is the proper word here. I would not have seen the damage if I hadn’t been removed from its midst.)

The Promise Tree through our screen window, Phoenix, AZ. April 2016

The world as it is now.  I do not see things the same way I used to see things. My friends, trust me when I tell you that if you were to meet up with me today, you would not recognize me. Nothing that used to matter to me or make my blood boil has any effect on me. Even my music interests have changed. Hollywood is no longer where I look to for entertainment. Disney is no longer harmless fun. The news has become more like vacuous entertainment and disinformation redirecting our attention than anything holding any semblance of truth. My focus has turned from the material world to the spiritual world of YHWH and Yeshua. You may think I’ve lost my marbles, I think I’ve finally found my truth.

This is one servant’s journey:  I have hesitated to write blogs during my lessons because I am still learning. Looking back at past blogs, I am ashamed of some things I have written and done. I do not want people to think I believe I am better than anyone else. This blog is a journey. It is MY journey. Your journey will probably be different.

All that I can recommend is that you turn into yourself and recognize your authenticity, then act on it. You are not a slave to the material world unless you allow that world to enslave you. Look deep into your SOL (soul) and listen to your HEART, an anagram of EARTH, the one connection we all have with each other in this world. The Earth is our world and our Heart is our Truth.

I invite you to take a step onto that journey that is calling you. The devil’s worst lie is the promise that there will be plenty of time for you to change. There is no time better than the present, for we never know when our present will end.

I’d hate it if I’d waited too long to correct the harm that has taken me two years to undo.

Much love and peace to you, my friends. From the road, I continue to write as The Dragonfly’s Student and, as my character was in the story of Faith and the Dragonfly in earlier blogs, I am now and forever will be,

The Writer

The Biggest Truth

Oh, the roads I have travelled since the Dragonfly Teacher first entered my life …. He was the jokester, the big brother, the wise uncle and, finally, the all-knowing teacher who led me down a path I didn’t know I was traveling until I was almost at my destination. Yet one of the most precious lessons I learned is one I haven’t felt free to voice to you, dear reader.

I’m ready today.

There is an awakening going on all over the world. Chances are, if you are following this blog, you sense it, too. The thing is, no matter how many of us are awakening, there is still something that keeps people from admitting the biggest Truth.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16 KJV)

Being Christian is not acceptable in this world.

For many years, as a journalist, then as a teacher and the wife of a wonderful man who is agnostic, I kept my faith hidden except from my sons. You see, it is okay to say you believe in ghosts and super heroes, but it is still not acceptable to tell the world you believe in a Creator and His Son and the Most Holy Spirit.

The dragonfly led me to acknowledge and accept the burning drive in my soul to stand up and be counted. And, when the time was right, I was finally able to do as Yeshua (Jesus) told his followers …

“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24 KJV)

It hasn’t been easy. I have left my hometown and my family. I was fortunate in that my sons were young men, but I will still be judged for leaving them and their father to find myself. I understand that truth and it cuts me deeply whenever I think about it. The only point I must make here is that something in my soul was dying. I was lost. Only my faith in Yeshua and our Heavenly Father kept me from drowning. God knows where my lost soul would have taken me.

I could find no home in a temple built by man. I sought and found God within me. The more I discovered, though, the more separated I felt from those in the physical world around me. The need to uncover the truth within me drove me away from everyone and everything I knew. That’s the way it has to be. The best way (and, for me, the only way) to truly repent the sins that have driven us from God is to separate ourselves from that world that embraced us when we were falling away from the One Source. Once I started finding my Truth, my thirst for more became unquenchable.

Many are as confused as I was, I know. We don’t understand why we’re unhappy. We seek comfort in a bottle or the medicine cabinet or the “boob” tube, among other things, but that comfort is fleeting. We look for something that sparks our soul, not knowing if we’ll recognize it when it slaps us across the face. Now, looking back on the past two years, I have identified that “a-ha” moment that started me on this new road.

At seventeen, I wrote in my diary that one day I would be traveling across the country with a chocolate lab and a camera. That thought hovered in my subconscious for thirty years until a puppy came into my life. Minnah looked like a small chocolate lab puppy and she fit into that knowing from my youth. The fire of recognition sparked as I plotted my travels; it grew into a flame. Now, two years later, I am living that Knowing that I had as a youth, and I’ve never felt more at one with my Creator. The New Age groups I encountered along the way eventually dimmed the fire, so my journey continued alone for a long while until I met my latest teacher, El Juglador, who continues to guide me down the path that called us both. I thank God every day for allowing me such a teacher. I am blessed with continued lessons.

I must admit I had to make some drastic changes and repent in order to feel I was right with God – not because of a supposed Judgment from an overpowering Lord but because. as a “sinner,” I felt unworthy to enter into the presence of the Almighty. Papa Dios, is what I called Him when I was a child, my Eternal Father, in essence.

There’s something in the air

Many are feeling a burning in their soul or a sense of dis-ease with their life. They may look at what I’ve done and consider it too drastic for them. I get that! I can’t expect anyone to do what I’ve done. It took faith and luck and an awful lot of good timing and help from above.

These past two years have taken me on a roller coaster ride like no other. I have changed in ways I could never have imagined. The things that mattered to me before don’t even measure a blip on my radar screen right now. The things that matter to me now did not even exist as possibilities for my reality.

Now that I am living my Truth, I am at peace. I feel protected. He loves me. I’ve never been more sure about it and it has never been as palpable an emotion as it is today. There’s no question. I am loved regardless of whether I follow His will or rebel. Following His path, however, is what feels right to me.

Let me tell you something else, my friends. As children of the eternal Creator, we are all loved. I am not alone. The Love our Creator has for you is deeper and truer than anything you can ever imagine.

The Lord is saddened by the distance that separates us from Him. It is a distance created by man, not by God. He is the Father from the story of the Prodigal Son who welcomes his long-lost son with an embrace. He is neither judgmental nor egalitarian. There is no need for hell nor reincarnation if during this life we accept the fact of His Love and His gift of his only begotten Son, the Christ who leads us Home, but each must follow the Christ Within. Find the Truth that lies hidden in your soul and spark it back into existence.

Accept it, my friends. Live it.

All my love to you,

The Dragonfly’s Student