Category Archives: My Spiritual Journey: Following a prophet

Day 12 — Claim your power

#grayskychallenge … Yesterday, today, tomorrow. In the reality in which we live, sometimes it’s the little things that make the difference. I find that seeking out those things that bring joy can make the next day a little easier to live. Because, really, it is all about me in my reality, and it’s all about you in yours. No one can make you have a bad day, no one can force you to put on those dark shades to blind you from the light. Only we have that power in our own reality.

Did you have a bad day today? Did someone step on your toes and make you feel less than you are? I say that’s impossible. Someone may say or do something that hurts you, but you have the power to take that comment or that act, brush off your emotions, your reactions, and file it away with the other lessons you have experienced. Put it in the file cabinet and go into the next day ready to begin again.

Hopefully, we learn from the things that hurt us. Hopefully, we allow ourselves to grow to become an even better person, because, I say this again, no one can make us feel any way. That’s our power.

I choose to see the beauty in every day and ignore the chaos others see playing out on the TV news. Maybe that’s why this challenge of mine is so easy for me? I choose to live the joy I feel every day, not immerse myself in the world of TV and separation.

I say take off those dark shades shielding you from the light and enjoy the colors of the rainbow!

The Dragonfly’s Student

Day 10 — The joy of Gaia



Today, Minnah and I enjoyed the sunrise on this Solstice mornig …. (to me Solstice begins June 20 and runs through the 21st; don’t ask me why, that’s just a feeling I get.) Nothing could be a better addition to my #grayskychallenge than a morning in the midst of Gaia’s grace! 

Regardless of how the day went, nothing could dampen the joy that greeted this morning. So, Day 10 belongs to Mother Nature.feeling blessed at Heavenly Mountain.

Day 9 — Stand for your truth

#grayskychallenge, Day 9

Last night, I found a charming Fedora hanging on a Bob’s Barricade, as if waiting for me to come claim it. I’ve always loved hats, and Fedoras, especially. I wondered at the reason for that find. So, I did a little research on Online Etymology Dictionary:

fedora (n.)  type of hat, 1887, American English, from “Fédora,” a popular play by Victorien Sardou (1831-1908) that opened 1882, in which the heroine, a Russian princess named Fédora Romanoff, originally was performed by Sarah Bernhardt. During the play, Bernhardt, a notorious cross-dresser, wore a center-creased, soft brimmed hat. Women’s-rights activists adopted the fashion. The proper name is Russian fem. of Fedor, from Greek Theodoros, literally “gift of god.”

Sometimes, the true meanings of synchronicity don’t come until later.

This morning, finding a silver lining for my gray skies was a challenge. I had to fend through the frustrations of living in the real world, where being unique is not accepted. Many won’t pity me here, I know. I have spent these past few years trying to live my

truth and staying away from petty people who expect me to be just as caught-in-the-world, face-in-the-phone as I used to be and they still are. I had to meditate a little more than usual to come up with something positive to say. My inner guide thought I needed to explain my intentions for this life I am now living. I needed to reclaim my Truth.

Gift-from-God perched on the top of my head, now, I am ready to find the silver lining for day nine … and it is this, when the whirlwinds of the day try to rip me apart, I must remember my reason for being in this place at this time of my life. I must stay true to myself. I must never allow my shoulders to sag nor my head to bow. I must hold on to my hat and my identify, proudly proclaiming, “I am who I am in this life; I am Mari, I am Writer, I am The Dragonfly’s Student, and nothing anyone can do or say can make me forget that Truth!”

Week one update #gray-skychallenge

Dear friends,

I’ve been updating my progress on Facebook. I need to rethink my posting. Some of you are not on Facebook, and by keeping updates on one or two social media sites, I’m robbing you, my readers, on the lessons I’m learning.

Today, I’ll post Day 2 through Day 8, as they appeared, minus most photos.

Day 2’s #grayskychallenge smile is this Blue Jay who brought me a message: Jay teaches lessons of adaptation to any situations and learning quickly with a high intelligence. He gives access to memories long forgotten and shows how to assimilate them into awareness. He

demonstrates risk taking, seizing opportunities and discovering new avenues for exploration. He will show the power of intelligence and fortitude balanced with discreet silence and utmost patience in timing. #greattiming #happyday

Day 3 of #grayskychallenge is solitude day. Once upon a time, that used to be unsettling. Today, it’s #soulfood! There are things about ourselves we sometimes hide from ourselves! Today, I found another part of me. Smile!

What part of me did I find? I found that part of me who listens to Innate, our inner connection to Source. Sure, I’ve listened to her before, but many times I challenge her to prove that I should, and often I end the day saying, “I should have done that thing that popped into my head.” Today was different!

#grayskychallenge Day 4 finds joy in reawakening passions from days gone by when Mrs. Manning, Mr. Valente, and a private tutor named Jesus, fed my love of singing. Today, I start again with basic scales and YouTube accompaniment … it’s not really as easy as getting back on a bike!

Rekindle your own childhood passions, my friends.

#grayskychallenge Day 5 is about the true friendship and love I witness in those around me, from two former students saying goodbye once again, to a cashier and a customer exchanging a hello-again hug. True friendship means never having a final sunset, because there will be another sunrise down the road. #havefaith #truefriends

#grayskychallenge, Day 6 – remember our blessings! Too often, we forget or take things for granted. Today, I sit in awe of the man who was and is my partner on this journey. Whether he’s fixing our RV or making a baton out of a Goodwill golf club, David never ceases to amaze me! The “silver lining” part of this day for me (for I must add a personal lesson for it to fit this gray-sky challenge of mine) … on this journey with him, I have learned that anything is possible, even wild, magical dreams! I have learned that I, too, am capable of turning my life into my own “impossible dream” come true. And that is a lesson we should all take to heart — no matter our age or our upbringing, nothing is impossible if we are willing to put in the work and follow our heart. Now, it’s time I get off this beast-machine and get back to practice! #faithcanworkmiracles Have faith in yourselves, my friends! KNOW it will happen and the Universe will see to it that it does!

#grayskychallenge, Day 7 – laughter is the best medicine. I was reminded today that we can get caught up in the heaviness of this world just like a fly in a spider web; the more we try to break free, the more entangled we become in the heavy trap. It’s not worth the stress. Instead, look for the humor in it. I know, it’s tough to laugh when the spider is eyeing you, but sometimes the Universe reacts to positive vibes. Maybe you’ll luck out and the wind will swing a branch through the web and you’ll be able to hitch a ride out of your imagined trap.

Day 8 of #grayskychallenge … is the challenge of seeing yourself through the looking glass. I am not the one I see in the mirror. She is a reflection of what I show the world, but she’s not really me. She’s the one who fights to keep up appearances to the point that her truth is obscured in the mist of a hot shower. The real me is loving and positive of God’s love burning in my heart, but, like with Moses, I feel my body has been the source of a Divine battle between Archangel Michael and the devil.  Sometimes, even I don’t recognize what I’ve done until the mist has cleared and the devastation is evident. I am sorry to the point of tears for the damage my words or my actions have caused. … so where’s the silver lining to this gray sky? I Know I am forgiven. I Know the Creator loves me more than I can ever imagine, and all I need do is accept His forgiveness. The great thing is, we are all loved and we are all forgiven. Feel it, my friends. The Almighty I Am loves you beyond measure!

Fly toward your Joy!

This witness has been spreading her wings to check out areas of this country that had previously been hidden to me.

Most recently, El Juglador and I traveled to Miami, where much of my family lives, and have been experiencing different worlds within the one we had known before. Those experiences include questions I had never muttered before. What is causing cancers that were never prevalent before? Why are so many suffering from allergies they had never before experienced? How are birds echoing whistles we taught their brothers miles away? Why do we avoid asking about people we wish were not in our life? Why do we prefer to think only of ourselves? Why do people prefer to remember the person you used to be rather than the new person you are? Why does the matrix entangle us so much that we can’t do what we really want?

No matter, really. The person you become when you start thinking about your thinking IS. It is the part of you that can find your Joy.

Joy is not found in the things you do or the people you know. It can not be bought at a store or found in a treasure chest. True joy, the kind that validates the Why of living, is found by doing what burns in your soul. I have found that it can be found when you listen to that little voice within yourself, in your gut, in your God essence, and ACT on what your heart calls out. Are you really alive in your day-to-day life? If not, why are you living someone else’s Joy?

If you are living your truth, congratulations, my friend. Keep going strong in your Truth and stand up for yourself, even with well-meaning loved ones who don’t understand. Maybe your Joy can be contagious. Maybe one day we’ll all be living in Joy and Truth, truly understanding why we were placed on this Being known as Gaia, truly understanding the quantum entanglement of Life.

The birds can be your brothers, as can the dragonflies, the trees, that park bench made from former living trees, that vehicle created with a myriad of Gaia’s gifts.

Think about your thinking, my friends, then think about your actions, connect it with the saying, As Above, So Below, then aim a little higher, outside the 3D existence, into the 4th, maybe even the 5th.

Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.

… as for us, we’re on the road again… 

Who drives the vehicle known as you?

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m trapped in a Chinese finger trap. Who am I and where am I going? Am I a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend? Am I something else that has no identity in the 3D world in which my sons, my parents, my siblings and my friends live? Part of me tries to free my finger from the trap, the other part of me fights the inevitable release. Do I need to prove myself or can I just BE myself?

Wikipedia, Finger trap toys

Breathe, ….

Remember the phrase, “God is my co-pilot?”

When I was a kid, that saying was plastered on the bumpers of cars stuck in Miami traffic or flying low on passing lanes on the turnpike. Priests made it the subject of sermons. Youth group leaders sported the idea on T-shirts. It was something they thought was right. They believed having God as your co-pilot meant you were truly Christian.

I wondered, though, what does that mean? I’m still trying to figure it out. Maybe God shouldn’t be a co-pilot. Maybe He’s a Navigator. 

The Bible says this Navigator created us on the sixth day,

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. Genesis 1:26, KJV

This section of Genesis is often overlooked or misunderstood. The explanation I present here is that the “us” the Creator speaks of is The Godhead, the Creator’s own male and female trinity, The Father, the Holy Spirit and the Son. That is the foundation on which I will build my argument today. It is, of course, open for discussion. I am far from being an expert.

Past attempts at explanation

When my Dragonfly Teacher was Erik, he taught us about the four roommates, An earlier blog of mine on this topic. (also, Erik’s own blog on the topic might clarify this for you, dear reader.)

In those discussions, we were being asked to identify the parts of our being that, in this human existence, sometimes (or maybe frequently) act as warring entities within us. The roommates, Spirit, Mind, Body, and Heart, make up the essence of us. At the time, his roommates discussions were fun and interesting, but the idea was over my head. I tried to understand enough of the idea to be able to internalize. It remained outside of my grasp, although still ever-present in my meditations. I think I’m beginning to understand this better, especially when I found the theory in the pages of the Bible, where mankind’s “image of God” is broken down into our Body, Soul and Spirit. As the Apostle Paul writes, we need to allow the three parts to work as one,

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NASB).

Wait. What about Mind and Heart? Where do they fit in? Could the Body equal the mind and the heart?

While St. Paul breaks it down into our own, human trinity, for St. Augustine of Hippo, the breakdown was two, only the Body and the Soul. My Dragonfly Teacher, on the other hand, adds one more. His Four Roommates theory adds to St. Paul’s Spirit, Soul, and Body by making the Mind a Roommate all its own.





Ugh. To tell you the truth, all of this confusion is an ultimate Finger Trap for humanity. Why should we focus so much energy on blaming the different parts of ourselves for our own misfortune, knotting up the strands of the will, the emotions, and the conscience, overthinking everything?

In my own life, the nightmare entity is the “Should’as” that dictate the expectations placed on us as we try to maneuver this existence. Like a template given to me when my Soul entered this Body, I have been trying to follow directions and stick to the model. But whose model am I following?

That’s easy to answer. My entire life I’ve followed the model dictated by that box that sat in my living room growing up. Whatever the movies or TV showed to be ideal, I jotted into my mind as a goal.

What drives me now

I no longer desire to be what society wants. Sometime during the past ten years, since my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in 2007, I found the mechanism that drives this body. I’ve tweaked it and fed it and polished all of those spots that had lost their shine. I knotted up the black snake that led to the TV and threw both away in some hot, arid dumpster in the middle of nowhere.

What I’ve allowed to become the driver of this human vehicle is not a driver at all, it is the knotted-up end of a heavy hemp rope pulling me. As I write this, I’ve discovered that I do not want to be the driver. In this life, I am powerless in what happens to me. (I know it sounds defeatist, but hear me out….) I am powerless and, in accepting this fact, I am freeing myself from the Finger Trap of this reality. 

I allow the Navigator to guide me now. For a brief moment, I believe I am not worthy,

…. I step off the edge of a cliff. Straight down I fall, as if in an invisible elevator, until the door opens and I tumble out to find my way back Home, because now I know the way.

My friends, any theory that creates a war within us only serves to separate us from The Creator. God only wants us to present the roommates as one servant. 

Back to Paul for clarification,

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:1-2 NASB).


This is not a task to take lightly. It calls up weeping and torturous pain as you analyze yourself and find your true Heart. In fact, many will not be able to do this. The most you can hope for, maybe, is for a happy life and a release from the Finger Trap.

Good luck, my friends,

The Dragonfly’s Student

Why to check-out of the Rat Race

“The shackles that keep you are your own beliefs.” 

  •       YouTuber Age of Disclosure

When trapped in the matrix of work, traffic, and weekends, few of us take the time to find our own truths. It’s an almost impossible task. How can you admit something is missing in your existence if you haven’t stepped outside of yourself to see? And how can we truly find Creator God if we don’t allow His Words to make a mark in us?

Before you continue reading, please stop. Ask yourself if you are really ready to make a change in your life. This post has been sitting in my “Unpublished” folder for a long time. I was not ready to share this with myself, let alone with my friends. Finding your self is harder than quitting your job and leaving your life. There’s work that must cut into the cushioned reality you imagined. It will be abrupt. You will not understand at first, then you will not recognize the old you from the new. That, at least, has been my experience.

Here are some basic steps I have stumbled upon.

The TV must be off. I dumped my last one somewhere in Arizona. I think it was in a rusty dumpster. I hope no one was able to rescue that Beast! I found that the lies being broadcast on a daily basis dumped me into a depressed state of reality — Why can’t my life be like the lives of the characters on the TV shows? Why is life so hard and empty? Why does it feel like I’m living just to pay to live?

Once I turned the boob tube off, I stopped comparing myself to the fake reality on TV. Usually. (I still fall into that world at times.)

The internet can be a Godsend, if you use that Open Book of knowledge to expand your horizons and learn about the world in which you live. I’ve accessed research that is unavailable to many of us. I’ve found history that is missing from the history books. I’ve learned about truths that other nations know but has been hidden from most of us in America. I advise my friends to open their minds, but to use the internet wisely. Don’t fall for the voices that just mean to spread fear and division … it’s easy to fall for that if we’re not careful!

Social media can be mass hypnosis ….  It can also be a place for us to find what is missing in ourselves.

It’s a sticky subject. These online Friends seem to understand us better than our family does, although that could be because we are more honest with these long distance friends. That’s something to consider!  I have found a couple of real keepers who helped me get through the darkest times of this metamorphosis, but many others reflect a friendship based on the lies I was telling myself.

This is not a judgment on the quality of your friendships, but more a brutal truth about the lives many of us live. We look for Happiness, but don’t know how to find it, so we search outside our nine-to-five world. We work for the weekend, but the weekend is too brief to do everything we really want to do, so we search online in a world we don’t have time to find otherwise.

Meditation. This is more than taking a yoga class and chanting. Meditation requires allowing silence to enter your experience, then allowing it to help you find yourself.  

Learn to see the truth backwards. Why can I see the bottom of a mountain science tells me should be below the curve of the Earth? What is providing a night-light for China when the moon spends part of the day hovering over the day-sky in Miami? There are individual trees we are told are hundreds of years old, but why are there no forests on earth older than 200 years old? Why do long-haired astronauts insist on wearing their hair loose? (I’d be wearing mine in a bun to keep the hairs from wrapping around the equipment.)

Regroup. Once you’ve destroyed your reality, you’re going to have to find a new one again. Good luck with that. You’ll have to detach from a lot or your family will want to put you in a loony bin. Truth!

If any of these pointers resonate with you, then you’re ready to find yourself. If not, just ignore this post before it becomes your own ticking bomb.

We have been given a precious gift in this life. Use it wisely. Find yourself trapped in this world’s web of deception, free yourself, then find the God who has been waiting for you to knock on His door.

Most sincerely, 

The Dragonfly’s Student