The first day I was in Hopi Land this year, my dear friend and I happened upon a flat mesa overlooking the road that connects the three mesas. We assumed we were standing on Second Mesa, so we set up camp near a cement picnic table. Then we took a walk, following Minnah. She led us to a rock we’d heard about but never expected to run into so easily.
This is Prophecy Rock, on which is detailed the future of mankind as told to Hopi Elders. The story goes that there are two paths the Hopi may take, one, the lower one, is the narrow but satisfying life of following Great Spirit. The other path is the one of the White Man’s technology. The picture recognizes that many will be swayed by that reality.
That prophecy is many times interpreted as a physical choice between the material and the natural – follow the White Man’s path or the path of the Hopi people. I wonder, though. What if the prophecy is more about the inner spirit of mankind and the constant battle with ourselves?
I’ve been thinking about this lately, about the two parts of me, especially.
Looking back over the last two years, I am faced with a truth. I feel like I was two people. One was the schoolteacher and fierce mama-bear for my two boys in this material reality. The second me was the writer who, in writing what was supposed to be my No. 1 Bestseller, stumbled upon a spiritual world of wonderment, peace, and connection with Source.
I hadn’t planned that story. I stumbled upon it one summer in Arizona in 2009, when I allowed the characters I had imagined create their own story. (Sounds weird, but many writers will tell you their characters dictate the direction of the story!)
After a few drafts of that story, and subsequent sequels that burned in me, I came to a HUGE realization. I was tapping into some higher realm in my writing trances. I was talking to something higher than this human body. My mind would take these downloads that I’d get and interpret them from the eyes of my characters.
Then I stepped back and took another look at what I’d been writing. There were lessons there and, when I looked at those lessons from my personal point of view (not my character’s), the lesson was LOUD, although not yet CLEAR.
That first story, about Meg and Kalen’s search for the final crystal, was about my own need to align myself to my own chakra points. Each crystal on their journey, was another chakra point on my own spiritual quest. I burned to learn Reiki, and, in learning that ancient technique, I connected more strongly with myself.
…. But I digress.
What I’ve been thinking about is the change I’ve gone through. Although I still love my boys and would fight for them if they needed me to, I am more than the schoolteacher. I am more than the writer who spoke to Spirit. I am more than this human existence.
And so are we all.
As I struggled with these two parts of me, one started to rebel. There was something in the two parts of me that wasn’t working for my soul, so I closed doors and walked away from the part of me that didn’t work for that part of me that burned in my soul.
I look back now and feel sadness for that part of me, but she wasn’t on the True Path, as the Hopi legend details. She was on the White Man’s Path of materialism. I had to look just right, I had to have the right electronics and clothes and beliefs. I wasn’t a bad person. I just felt empty inside. I couldn’t figure out what was missing.
Now I know.
I wasn’t listening to my heart, through which I think Spirit communicates. That part of me was telling me to step out of my reality. I wanted to help people. I wanted to learn more about myself. I wanted to follow the path of servant to others.
I now realize even that was wrong. The true path is the path of service to God and self. (Because by serving God, I allow that guidance to lead me to invariable service to others as God dictates.)
I’ve been through some tough lessons lately. I think the reason they have been tough is because I fought it for so long. If only I had followed that guidance in my heart more honestly so many years ago, what then? What if I hadn’t fought tooth and nail to retain my material self as my spiritual self grew?
My actions would not have seemed so drastic and sudden.
Like a cat left to wander a bird sanctuary unabated, I tried to make my two realities live in the human harmonics.
Spirit cannot live in the human reality unless its guidance is allowed to flower.
If I have any words of advice, my friends, it is this. When a passion burns in your heart … not in your head or your loins or your veins. When that passion does not desire the destruction of anyone and does not seek to covet the gifts of others. When that fire that burns in your heart is transparent and true. The best thing you can do is acknowledge it and give it the proper attention it requires.
The danger here, of course, is the need to study yourself and your motives. Until you can truly do that, you will be unable to move on.
Much love to you,
The Dragonfly’s Student