Keeping My Promises

After a day spent in awe of God’s creation and Gaia’s beauty as we drove through Nevada, Utah and into Wyoming, an old song from my musical days burrows its way into my head,

“To you, Yahweh, I lift up my soul, Oh, my god.” Psalm 25

I first learned this refrain during my college days when I was part of my church’s Melodic Prayer group. In those days, the songs we played meant a lot to me. Those were the days before jobs and responsibilities and expectations weighed down my perceptions of life.

Those words, uttered by the prophet David speaking of his love for God, took root in my eager, 20-something soul. I meant it to the depths of my heart.

Then my human life took over, and God got pushed back. I kept telling myself I was doing God’s work by raising two wonderful young men and by teaching hundreds of young adults as a high school English teacher. This is very true. I know it.

Sometimes, though, God comes calling when you least expect it. Some of you may understand what I’m saying. Many of you won’t.

Spirit talks to me. (I’m not going all out to say God talks to me, although we are all a piece of God Source.) What I’m saying is that after years of reading bible stories and doing my own meditations where I go inward to access the truth within my soul, I have allowed myself to welcome direction from above.

This summer, I met someone who is also following direction from above. We’ve left our former lives and spent the summer criss-crossing the country in a spider web of music and spiritual discovery. We’ve left a trail of rain on parched desert and we’ve met hitchhikers and Facebook friends and new friends who remembered us from visits we never paid to their hometowns.

I’ve learned something. Many of us are looking for something we can’t identify. I know what it is, though.

What we hunger for is that little part of us that makes us feel welcome, that tells us we are important and are on this world for a reason. We’re looking for acceptance.

Some people find that something in church, in the voice of God, but what I’ve noticed this summer is that sometimes, even those who search to fill that void in church haven’t found it.

Where did I first find my answer? Ah, that’s a difficult question because I’ve always felt the messages from what I used to call my gut.

The truth – that nudge that tugs at your gut or that little voice in your head telling you what to do, that’s God, or Spirit, or you Higher Self pointing you toward what the channeled being known as Abraham-Hicks calls “Our Vortex” or what my teacher, El Juglador, calls being in alignment with your higher self.

I was going to say that it’s not difficult to connect with that voice within us all, after all, we are all equals made in the image of God, and we are all loved by the Creator of us all equally, like a mother loves all of her children. I was going to say it’s easy, but it’s not always easy. In fact, even on this spiritual quest I have found moments when I’m out of alignment and angry voices or frigid mornings make me wonder why I started on this journey.

For me, peace can be found on a long walk through the woods or a quiet moment listening to the rushing river. Sometimes, though, I need binaural beats or YouTube meditation videos or episodes of channeled beings like Bashar or Abraham-Hicks.

Really, it’s easy, but it’s not. It’s easy if you finally realize that your life will not mean anything to you if you are not answering the call. If you are not in alignment with your true self you will always feel like something is missing.

That’s what I’ve learned this summer.

One day, over twenty years ago, I sang in church and the words meant my life.

“To you, Lord, I lift up my eyes oh my God.”

In those words, and in so many other songs, I was saying that I promised to be a servant to God. I asked for guidance and to be allowed to be His hands on Earth. He’s given me guidance along the way, never wavering.

This year, he took me up on my promise.

Namaste, my friends.

The Dragonfly’s Student

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