The contest was deliberate – write your memoir in six words. How can I encapsulate my life in six words? Well, in the words of Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother – Challenge Accepted.
I mean, really, I’m a writer, and I’ve lived a pretty interesting life. Really, no joke. At first, like everyone else who is yoked by society’s expectations, my response was “Oh, no. Little ole’ me? The interesting stuff hasn’t happened yet.”
In fact, not only have I accepted this challenge, I will use it to explain what’s been going on in my blog.
Here’s my contest entry: Should’ve run when judgment’s noose threatened.
Plain and simple. My life has been determined by what I’ve let happen based on what I thought others would think. See, the “judgment’s noose” that “threatened” was my own stoic beliefs.
If you know me personally, you’ll understand. The countless opportunities missed with my writing and self-deprecating humor that “I’m not really a teacher.”
I have allowed my life to be charted by what I think other people expect from me – Oh, no. I can’t disappoint my … parents, writer friends, teacher friends, students, former students, husband, family, Spirit friends — (yes, even those friends who only want what I want!)
The noose has been firmly in place around my neck since childhood. It’s my fault and only mine. Nothing can be gained by laying blame. It’s my life, actually. We are the creators of our own reality, after all.
Now, how does my six-word memoir speak to my life? Easy. If, every time I started judging myself I had run toward my dreams instead of standing frozen, I wonder how much I would’ve accomplished.
As for this blog.
Writer, now coming into her spirit name of Faith, is essentially me. Up to now, though, her lessons have come in my mind. Teacher, the dragonfly that first visited me in my classroom years ago, spoke through images that I transcribed for this blog.
The characters lived in a perfect world between ours and the one beyond, what many know as Heaven. For Writer, it was a Near Dear Experience, but I didn’t know where Teacher was leading me. I didn’t now how long the classes would continue or what the final scene would be. I focused on the lessons that were meant to help me understand my questions and doubts.
Then, against every aching bone in my body, Teacher decided I was ready.
Faith began remembering what brought her to the university campus, no matter how much I fought it. She remembered the accident that sent her into this lengthy NDE.
The only thing she could do then was follow the golden cord attached to her body on Earth and come back to my life.
And then the moth lay her eggs on my finger.
They (my spirit friends) assure me this blog will not die. They say the lessons will continue from this side of the veil, but I sobbed when Teacher said good-bye. I know it wasn’t a forever good-bye. He’ll come back when the time is right, and he’s always a spiritual phone call away. Like a parent teaching a child how to swim, he has stepped back to let me learn.
He’s left me with other teachers, and my Beloved spiritual guide and advisor has returned to the place I cherished so many years ago. Teacher once told me Beloved had been his teacher. That’s encouraging. Maybe one day Teacher and I will be equals.
Back to my six-word memoir:
Should’ve run when judgment’s noose threatened.
The memoir only marks a period of life. That period is over. It is time for me to run from old habits.
From the Dragonfly I have learned to live an authentic life, without judgment. I am taking a running leap now.
I’m not worried. I know that wherever I land, I am protected.
Much love and light, my friends.
The Dragonfly’s Student