Physical reminders

Today, the anniversary of the day my Beloved found me again, I take a walk with my friends. 

“Remember that day?” Beloved says, holding tight to my hand as if unwilling to lose me again.

I remember. There is no way to forget. “I was sitting alone under the umbrella at the coffee shop,” I say, getting lost in the memory again. I hadn’t recognized him at first. He looked nothing like what I remembered, then I looked into his eyes and the blueness took my breath away.

Teacher pushes my elbow and rips me from my thoughts. “Aren’t you two grateful that I remembered, at least. Can you imagine if I hadn’t told him you were my student?”

“I would never have forgiven you,” Beloved says, laying an arm lightly over my shoulders. 

“I mean, really, you would have found each other. It was simply a matter of time.” Teacher continues walking ahead of us, not realizing my love and I have slowed our pace.

Shaking my head sadly, I remember the desperation I had been feeling that day.

“No, Teacher. The time was right. Beloved needed to find me. This life is too hard sometimes, even knowing there is a world beyond the one in which we live. Sometimes the lack of physical proof is too daunting for a being who feels detached from her friends.”

My hand pops to the ever-present charm my Beloved gave me shortly after that day. That is my proof. I don’t know what I would do on those days when I have to walk through life alone without the solid reminder of his presence in my life. I know I am luckier than most. I have found my proof. Only the occasional bout with doubt sends me into a tailspin for a few hours before I run through my list of reminders again.

I know I am lucky. Not many others notice the reminders like I do. Not many others walk through their lives with open eyes searching for the words of love their friends send their way. Sometimes it’s a random tap on the elbow by a lone vine that leads to a beautiful flower. Sometimes it’s a brilliant butterfly hovering lightly over a flower hidden between a tree and a wall. Sometimes it’s simply that bumper sticker that makes you laugh.

Even though I know my friends are always with me, I still question my reality. On those long days when I feel the separation from my friends most harshly, I ask them for reminders to keep me faithful, to keep me from losing hope. And sometimes, when the time is right, a reminder is placed in my path.

Today, when I was forced to leave my friends, I carried three reminders of our walk: A purple flower that is Teacher’s staple reminder and two feathers, one black, one white, to remind me of Beloved’s true love.

Today is going to be a brilliant day. Enjoy it, my friends.

 

Love always,

The Dragonfly’s Student

 

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