This witness has been spreading her wings to check out areas of this country that had previously been hidden to me.
Most recently, El Juglador and I traveled to Miami, where much of my family lives, and have been experiencing different worlds within the one we had known before. Those experiences include questions I had never muttered before. What is causing cancers that were never prevalent before? Why are so many suffering from allergies they had never before experienced? How are birds echoing whistles we taught their brothers miles away? Why do we avoid asking about people we wish were not in our life? Why do we prefer to think only of ourselves? Why do people prefer to remember the person you used to be rather than the new person you are? Why does the matrix entangle us so much that we can’t do what we really want?
No matter, really. The person you become when you start thinking about your thinking IS. It is the part of you that can find your Joy.
Joy is not found in the things you do or the people you know. It can not be bought at a store or found in a treasure chest. True joy, the kind that validates the Why of living, is found by doing what burns in your soul. I have found that it can be found when you listen to that little voice within yourself, in your gut, in your God essence, and ACT on what your heart calls out. Are you really alive in your day-to-day life? If not, why are you living someone else’s Joy?
If you are living your truth, congratulations, my friend. Keep going strong in your Truth and stand up for yourself, even with well-meaning loved ones who don’t understand. Maybe your Joy can be contagious. Maybe one day we’ll all be living in Joy and Truth, truly understanding why we were placed on this Being known as Gaia, truly understanding the quantum entanglement of Life.
The birds can be your brothers, as can the dragonflies, the trees, that park bench made from former living trees, that vehicle created with a myriad of Gaia’s gifts.
Think about your thinking, my friends, then think about your actions, connect it with the saying, As Above, So Below, then aim a little higher, outside the 3D existence, into the 4th, maybe even the 5th.
Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m trapped in a Chinese finger trap. Who am I and where am I going? Am I a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend? Am I something else that has no identity in the 3D world in which my sons, my parents, my siblings and my friends live? Part of me tries to free my finger from the trap, the other part of me fights the inevitable release. Do I need to prove myself or can I just BE myself?
Remember the phrase, “God is my co-pilot?”
When I was a kid, that saying was plastered on the bumpers of cars stuck in Miami traffic or flying low on passing lanes on the turnpike. Priests made it the subject of sermons. Youth group leaders sported the idea on T-shirts. It was something they thought was right. They believed having God as your co-pilot meant you were truly Christian.
I wondered, though, what does that mean? I’m still trying to figure it out. Maybe God shouldn’t be a co-pilot. Maybe He’s a Navigator.
The Bible says this Navigator created us on the sixth day,
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. Genesis 1:26, KJV
This section of Genesis is often overlooked or misunderstood. The explanation I present here is that the “us” the Creator speaks of is The Godhead, the Creator’s own male and female trinity, The Father, the Holy Spirit and the Son. That is the foundation on which I will build my argument today. It is, of course, open for discussion. I am far from being an expert.
In those discussions, we were being asked to identify the parts of our being that, in this human existence, sometimes (or maybe frequently) act as warring entities within us. The roommates, Spirit, Mind, Body, and Heart, make up the essence of us. At the time, his roommates discussions were fun and interesting, but the idea was over my head. I tried to understand enough of the idea to be able to internalize. It remained outside of my grasp, although still ever-present in my meditations. I think I’m beginning to understand this better, especially when I found the theory in the pages of the Bible, where mankind’s “image of God” is broken down into our Body, Soul and Spirit. As the Apostle Paul writes, we need to allow the three parts to work as one,
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NASB).
Wait. What about Mind and Heart? Where do they fit in? Could the Body equal the mind and the heart?
While St. Paul breaks it down into our own, human trinity, for St. Augustine of Hippo, the breakdown was two, only the Body and the Soul. My Dragonfly Teacher, on the other hand, adds one more. His Four Roommates theory adds to St. Paul’s Spirit, Soul, and Body by making the Mind a Roommate all its own.
Ugh. To tell you the truth, all of this confusion is an ultimate Finger Trap for humanity. Why should we focus so much energy on blaming the different parts of ourselves for our own misfortune, knotting up the strands of the will, the emotions, and the conscience, overthinking everything?
In my own life, the nightmare entity is the “Should’as” that dictate the expectations placed on us as we try to maneuver this existence. Like a template given to me when my Soul entered this Body, I have been trying to follow directions and stick to the model. But whose model am I following?
That’s easy to answer. My entire life I’ve followed the model dictated by that box that sat in my living room growing up. Whatever the movies or TV showed to be ideal, I jotted into my mind as a goal.
What drives me now
I no longer desire to be what society wants. Sometime during the past ten years, since my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in 2007, I found the mechanism that drives this body. I’ve tweaked it and fed it and polished all of those spots that had lost their shine. I knotted up the black snake that led to the TV and threw both away in some hot, arid dumpster in the middle of nowhere.
What I’ve allowed to become the driver of this human vehicle is not a driver at all, it is the knotted-up end of a heavy hemp rope pulling me. As I write this, I’ve discovered that I do not want to be the driver. In this life, I am powerless in what happens to me. (I know it sounds defeatist, but hear me out….) I am powerless and, in accepting this fact, I am freeing myself from the Finger Trap of this reality.
I allow the Navigator to guide me now. For a brief moment, I believe I am not worthy,
…. I step off the edge of a cliff. Straight down I fall, as if in an invisible elevator, until the door opens and I tumble out to find my way back Home, because now I know the way.
My friends, any theory that creates a war within us only serves to separate us from The Creator. God only wants us to present the roommates as one servant.
Back to Paul for clarification,
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:1-2 NASB).
This is not a task to take lightly. It calls up weeping and torturous pain as you analyze yourself and find your true Heart. In fact, many will not be able to do this. The most you can hope for, maybe, is for a happy life and a release from the Finger Trap.
“The shackles that keep you are your own beliefs.”
YouTuber Age of Disclosure
When trapped in the matrix of work, traffic, and weekends, few of us take the time to find our own truths. It’s an almost impossible task. How can you admit something is missing in your existence if you haven’t stepped outside of yourself to see? And how can we truly find Creator God if we don’t allow His Words to make a mark in us?
Before you continue reading, please stop. Ask yourself if you are really ready to make a change in your life. This post has been sitting in my “Unpublished” folder for a long time. I was not ready to share this with myself, let alone with my friends. Finding your self is harder than quitting your job and leaving your life. There’s work that must cut into the cushioned reality you imagined. It will be abrupt. You will not understand at first, then you will not recognize the old you from the new. That, at least, has been my experience.
Here are some basic steps I have stumbled upon.
The TV must be off. I dumped my last one somewhere in Arizona. I think it was in a rusty dumpster. I hope no one was able to rescue that Beast! I found that the lies being broadcast on a daily basis dumped me into a depressed state of reality — Why can’t my life be like the lives of the characters on the TV shows? Why is life so hard and empty? Why does it feel like I’m living just to pay to live?
Once I turned the boob tube off, I stopped comparing myself to the fake reality on TV. Usually. (I still fall into that world at times.)
The internet can be a Godsend, if you use that Open Book of knowledge to expand your horizons and learn about the world in which you live. I’ve accessed research that is unavailable to many of us. I’ve found history that is missing from the history books. I’ve learned about truths that other nations know but has been hidden from most of us in America. I advise my friends to open their minds, but to use the internet wisely. Don’t fall for the voices that just mean to spread fear and division … it’s easy to fall for that if we’re not careful!
Social media can be mass hypnosis …. It can also be a place for us to find what is missing in ourselves.
It’s a sticky subject. These online Friends seem to understand us better than our family does, although that could be because we are more honest with these long distance friends. That’s something to consider! I have found a couple of real keepers who helped me get through the darkest times of this metamorphosis, but many others reflect a friendship based on the lies I was telling myself.
This is not a judgment on the quality of your friendships, but more a brutal truth about the lives many of us live. We look for Happiness, but don’t know how to find it, so we search outside our nine-to-five world. We work for the weekend, but the weekend is too brief to do everything we really want to do, so we search online in a world we don’t have time to find otherwise.
Meditation. This is more than taking a yoga class and chanting. Meditation requires allowing silence to enter your experience, then allowing it to help you find yourself.
Learn to see the truth backwards. Why can I see the bottom of a mountain science tells me should be below the curve of the Earth? What is providing a night-light for China when the moon spends part of the day hovering over the day-sky in Miami? There are individual trees we are told are hundreds of years old, but why are there no forests on earth older than 200 years old? Why do long-haired astronauts insist on wearing their hair loose? (I’d be wearing mine in a bun to keep the hairs from wrapping around the equipment.)
Regroup. Once you’ve destroyed your reality, you’re going to have to find a new one again. Good luck with that. You’ll have to detach from a lot or your family will want to put you in a loony bin. Truth!
If any of these pointers resonate with you, then you’re ready to find yourself. If not, just ignore this post before it becomes your own ticking bomb.
We have been given a precious gift in this life. Use it wisely. Find yourself trapped in this world’s web of deception, free yourself, then find the God who has been waiting for you to knock on His door.
“Uncover your heart,” Teacher whispers. “It is time to dissolve the programming of the Ego mind.”
What? But I don’t really need to ask. I know by now. The programming of the Ego mind is what I call the “shoulda’s of the REAL world,” the world that binds us to the 3D. That 3D world is fading away, I am told. The 3D into the 4D, now dissolving into the 5D. The levels peeling away like the skins of an onion. It is time for the Now Moment of the Universal Heart and the healing process it allows.
Shrek said Ogres are like onions. We, also, are layered like an onion, each thin skin covering another thin skin until, eventually, our heart is uncovered — our essence, our Souls.
It is time to make the Impossible Possible. It is time to be healed, my friends. It is time to make our dreams come true.
I’m afraid I’ve been thinking, again, and that admission may make my friends shudder, but, hear me out, please.
I was listening to another guru talk about our soul’s essence being fractured into several pieces, each piece living its own human existence in another body in another time and place. The goal of life is to bring all the soul pieces together again into one stronger, more wise being.
In meditation a little later, I saw a common, everyday, carnival mainstay, a cotton candy machine.
I saw myself spinning in the center, strings of myself fanning out all around me, waiting to be gathered. I tried to gather myself into something, but I made myself dizzy before accepting that I couldn’t. The web of my essence just kept fanning all around, just flapping strings of pink and blue sugar. I realized that what I needed was the Candy Man. Only He could gather my web into something solid.
What if our souls, the true essence of our being, were one stalk of sugar cane converted into a cup of sugar crystals? What if our crystallized bits were melted through the trials and tribulations of our human existence and poured into one gigantic machine in Big Al’s Rec Room, or God’s Carnival of Existence?
What if we were to stop fighting the Candy Man? What if we finally learn to make ourselves the best sugar crystal ever poured into a machine instead of trying to dictate the lives of others? What if that one crystal that first came to that realization finally convinced the others to do the same? What if they all allowed the Candy Man to Create a beautiful mold of cotton candy from the webs of our existence?
What if we are all, every single one of us, connected in this big game of life by the web of sugar crystals fanning out from the center of Creation?
What if we were to finally recognize the Candy Man as the final piece of the puzzle, the One Who will put us all back together again after our Great Fall from the Celestial Wall?
What if we were to simply say, “Yes, God, I believe I am ready. Do your thing.”?
On this American journey on which I am one traveler, I have not been alone. Most of you know that I set off with my puppy, Minnah, who is now an adult of three years, and some of you know the second traveler I called El Juglador to protect his privacy. David and I met because we had a similar spiritual mission to travel to the Hopi in Arizona and to points further west. We have continued together on our mission to be Servants of God because what we share is more than a spiritual connection to the Almighty. We three, David, Minnah, and I, share a connection that surpasses time itself. We are truly SoulMates.
One of the things I have learned on this journey is how to reach inside myself and find those parts of me that don’t meet up with what the Almighty has asked of us. The lessons, as I’ve detailed sometimes, are heart-wrenching and painful until I no longer resist. My latest lesson is that Pride comes with many faces. For me, it is one of the hardest things I have had to learn. My Ego, which has protected me from pain for most of my life, has been too proud to ask for help.
Recently, a friend reminded me that others like to feel needed, but if I don’t ask, it helps no one but that dark shadow that loves to keep us down.
I now “suck it up” to tell my readers about the most recent lessons I have had to encounter.
On my birthday last year (April 7,) David got me a real, honest-to-goodness, Starline twirling baton. You know, the kind the majorettes twirl as they lead the band in a parade or swing their magic at a football game. It was my 50th birthday and I felt like a child again as David taught me the skills he learned when he twirled in high school. Within days, we decided David would be picking up his old fascination again and competing in Disney’s TwirlMania this February. We resettled to Central Florida for the winter. Then, just weeks before the competition, he began to feel something just not quite right.
The day before, we went to an emergency room. He just needed help with the pain, or, maybe, something to help him breathe easier. Maybe an inhaler or some pain medication stronger than Motrin. The doctor ordered an Xray. I was not in the room when the doctor returned with the results. David stormed into the waiting room, intent on leaving. The doctor wanted to admit him; something about his lung. It was the day before the competition. There was no way he was going to miss this, he said.
As it is, he had to miss it. We hiked through the venue at ESPN’s Wide World of Sports complex in Kissimmee that hot day, David barely able to catch his breath. The one lasting memory we have is the little boy my son noticed watching us as we walked out. David stopped to catch his breath and say hi to this baton-twirling fan who reminded him of himself. We promised him David would be competing in the Men’s Masters the next day. We never made it. For the next few days, David lay in his bed in MJ, our RV, barely able to walk around.
I took over full duties with MJ, driving her around Orlando, hoping David would feel better, then driving us to my mother’s house in Miami. I pumped the gas, I drove, I, dumped and filled the tanks, I also smudged with sage and spread tobacco as part of our daily ceremonies … I took over every responsibility David and I had shared for the past two years. Well, almost. I still had problems jerry-rigging our generator to start the way the mechanic in New Mexico taught us.
Within a week of arriving in Miami, David gave in and admitted he needed help. March 8 we called 911. He couldn’t breathe and after walking just a few steps, he would pass out. One doctor said he wouldn’t have lasted more than six hours that day if he hadn’t sought help when he did.
That, I believe, was David’s lesson which mirrors mine today, when I created a GoFundMe account. But I don’t really believe this is anywhere close to what David had to go through. So I had to ask for help from my family and friends. Big, whoop! He had to admit that something insignificant was getting the best of him. He is truly a strong man that I love more deeply than words can say.
March 8 David was rushed to the hospital when he couldn’t breathe. A common, non-contagious bacteria had collapsed his lungs when it took over his thoracic cavity. After 22 days, he was released from the hospital with a prescription to continue the aggressive antibiotic treatment. We cannot afford the bills. He has been assured his tribe, the First Nations Ojibwa in Michigan (Chippewa) can help, but he must apply in person.
After almost two years serving God throughout the nation, our last funds were able to bring us to my family in Miami, which has been very helpful throughout this ordeal. Minnah, our beloved dog, was well-cared for, and I found emotional support. I now find myself asking for financial help from my friends.
Please help us get David home to Michigan so he can get the treatment he needs in order that this bacteria is completely out of his system.
The treatment, we were initially told, would have to be for a year, but they amended it to five months. The name-brand medication prescribed for this aggressive treatment would cost $4,000 a month without insurance! (We found an alternative to that, but that’s what led me to finally admit we needed help.)
These past few years, we have been guided by our heart. We believe we were being led by a force much higher than ourselves who does not have to live in this 3D world in which most of us reside. We have been God’s hands and His voice, sometimes not even understanding the effects of our actions. We have trusted that God would provide, and the Almighty has definitely provided when we needed help in the past. In our travels, we have encountered human angels and I hope we have been human angels to those we have met along the way.
Today, I finally admitted that I have to allow others to be human angels, too. We can all play a part in this movie that has been produced and directed for us by something that cannot be defined, something that created all and sees all. Something that is defined as the Great I Am.
He is truly the ultimate Director. Will you play a part in His blockbuster or will you decide to be part of the audience, instead? Will you stop to help the man with the overheated engine on the side of the road? Will you give the lost tourist directions he can actually understand? Will you call you grandmother and remind her about the time you gave her the ceramic handprint in kindergarten?
Or, even more importantly, will you admit that you need help so that someone else can play the part of your angel?
Today, I am sharing a guest post from a good friend, Oktobre Taylor. Oktobre and I have known each other since the days when I was attending the Dragonfly Teacher’s advanced studies class. She and I became detectives in discovering the truth behind the University I was attending in my Sacred Space. When I began traveling and living the lessons the Dragonfly taught, Oktobre continued with her research. Funny, we’ve come to similar realizations despite the time and the miles between us.
This is one of her latest information shares. I found it curious, although she and I agree it is still a rough idea of what could be going on.
The Virtual Reality, by Oktobre Taylor
“I have come upon some rather large revelations lately that most people will find rather hard to believe. It doesn’t matter what anyone believes right now because I know, soon enough, there will be proof of what I am saying in a pretty dramatic way. Everyone will be in awe and I will just be smiling because I know what is coming. I mean I really know. The great Wizard of Oz is about to come out from behind the curtain and you all will be amazed. There will be no wondering and confusion anymore…at least with the important details. This is a virtual reality. What you think of as “God and Satan” is just the people in the lab who built the program. And yes, they are always watching as though we are living the movie The Truman Show. Our true home is an Earth far into the future from this one when we have evolved into something truly amazing. There we understand that what we call “God” is the spark of life within every living thing…The plants, the animals the stones, the trees, the water, the air and us. This school is meant to teach you love and respect for everything and until you do, you can’t graduate. None of us are in here as long as we think. Since time doesn’t exist in a computer, all lives are, indeed, happening at once even though it feels more like the linear lives we experience at home. So, ladies and gentlemen, please place your chairs in the upright position. Fasten your seatbelt. Hold on tight, and don’t lose faith. Everything is going to be okay. The world may seem like it is falling apart when really it is falling — or colliding — into place,. into balance. And then *poof* like magic it will be Heaven on Earth. At least it will seem that way compared to the hell we have been witnessing lately.”
The reason I decided to share her post is because it reminds me of something that happened with El Juglador and me during the past two-plus years.
“It is so unbelievable,” El Juglador said in response to one particular bit of information we received.
“It needs to be, in order that the bonds of unbelievability are broken,” was the disembodied response. We have lived this truth since then, that our lives have been a blessed gift of grand magnitude. All of us have a gift to accept, a gift of tremendous love. Do you know the Giver of this gift? Maybe you should give Him your ear and listen?
I know this blog post is going to bust through some people’s sense of reality, but give me a chance to address this theory that has appeared in countless movies, TV shows, and books throughout the past 50-plus years, including Philip K. Dick’s short story, “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” made into the movies, “Total Recall.”
I remember when my son, William, got me hooked on a Japanese Manga show, “Sword Art Online,” Wikipedia, Sword Art Online. The premise of the show, similar to other TV shows and movies that have cropped up within the past fifteen or so years, is a highly anticipated Virtual Reality game. Within the game’s first hours of operation, the Players learn the game has been infected with a virus. It was no longer a game. The Players were stuck in this game until someone won it all. If they lost a battle and died, they died in the real world where their bodies lay with the goggles firmly placed on their faces.
That premise is terrifying to me. What if we were to get stuck in some similar game? Some people might think that’s a cool premise they would love to try out.
I think it would be a scary hell, having no control over my eternal soul simply because my body was hijacked.
Recently, this idea has been circulating the internet, What if this life we’re living is just a game we stepped into just to be the first ones in line, a bit like when a new iPhone comes out — you don’t really need it, but it would be cool to be one of the first to have that Dick Tracy-ish TV/radio/computer watch. What if while standing in the line that wraps around the Apple store, the doors get locked and you can’t get out until someone defeats the entire program? What if?
More and more scientists are getting into this theory. There’s even a Wikipedia page,
“The simulation hypothesis proposes that reality is in fact a simulation (most likely a computer simulation). Some versions rely on the development of a simulated reality, a proposed technology that would seem realistic enough to convince its inhabitants. The hypothesis has been a central plot device of many science fiction stories and films.
While I find this theory interesting and plausible, I am more likely to fall along the lines that the goal of this life is not to determine which storyline we chose to play through in the game, but rather, to remember who the player truly is. Who we are behind the mask.
I wonder if, rather, this game theory is a trap in itself, where we hand off the blame onto some random entity. This life we have been given is a gift given by the Creator of this world. Above all, we must not waste this gift. So how can we Honor the Creator and make the best of His Gift? Geez, I don’t know, but I’ve been getting some ideas that have made me think.
Teacher has been talking to me again of late, especially about this. It is not necessarily whether this reality is a game or a trap or a university; the goal is to find ourselves within the web of this blessed human existence. We shouldn’t look for our role in a game, our part in a movie. Maybe the best way to Honor the Creator is to honor our gift, the life we’ve been given?
There’s a place deep inside of me that guides me through my life. It is not necessarily what I “should” be doing in my life or what makes me feel happy. That deep place in my heart directs me. If I ignore it, it’s like my inner compass goes haywire and I feel like a liar. The truth is, I can’t tell you the secret to opening that special place in you. Only you can find the key that will help you “win the game” in the Virtual Reality sense or “find Heaven on Earth” in the goodly sense. Be true to yourselves, my friends. Find the truth that is born in your heart, the truth created by the Most High, then live it and live it fully, and, most importantly,
“Above all else, guardyour heart, for everything you do flows from it, (Proverbs, 4:23.)